Monday, 7 March 2011


Before you start with the kneejerk reaction, lets clarify where you are coming from. Read the following statements:

Halle Berry needs to do more romantic comedies. Her downtrodden character at the start of this flick (and then at on-and-off moments during the film) is quite adorable. Ugly-betty-ish.
Halle Berry needs to do more thrillers. Her downtrodden, scared character 20mins into this flick (and then at on-and-off moments during the film)  is quite believable. 24-damsel-ish
The CGI cats needs to do more Hollywood work. Their fluffy expressions ( on-and-off  during the film)  clearly had them set up for a sympathetic role in CATS AND DOGS.
A pop promo-cut basketball scene looks just like the one from DAREDEVIL
Girlie chat scenes feel just like ones from ALI MCBEAL
Driving scenes have the same slick feel as FAST AND THE FURIOUS
Action scenes flow like a rap promo
Highly invasive music score, like any teen-based flick (annoying woman shout ‘uh oh’ to beats constantly)
Exposition from the warm-coloured proffesors study of an INDIANA JONES flick
Motion capture out of SCORPION KING
A fashion/beauty plot worthy of SEX AND THE CITY
Fight scenes from CHARLIES ANGELS
And a costume out of slash fic.

Now none of these things is particularly bad on its own (last one possibly) but only when they are applied to the shows to which they naturally shine. In fact, a combination of all these elements could work well. . . . the result being a potentially genre-breaking, female orientated, super-heroine flick.

But where CATWOMAN failed?. . . . . its poster.

The dark brooding poster (along with studio hype and fan expectations) meant the studio were reliant on a male demographic to make this film a box office hit. Failing to fully sever the ties to Michelle Pfeiffer’s version only added to the sense, in retrospect, of a film setting itself up for a massive fall.  I mean the climactic battle is fought whilst the hero and villain talk beauty tips, for gods sakes! Marketed right, with a poster that set out its intentions from the start, this may have done well. Angry fanboys would have been ignored just as the groans of husbands, dragged to SEX & THE CITY were. But no, instead we got one of the worst received film openings ever, and a legacy more notable for Halle Berry picking up her Razzie, than any praise.

Now the film isn’t great, let me state that. Berry is loveable as her characters ‘human side’ but annoying as Catwoman, all constant head twitches and a make-up scheme that made her look rather ugly (oh irony, eh) than ice cool. Sharon Stone makes what she can from a poor role, never getting to play anything other than a victim and being denied a small extra scene that could have set her up in a very interesting way for further films. . . . not there were ever gonna be more of these. The men of the movie are pretty pathetic. Thats all I can say about them. In fact, the one actor I truly adored was the cat who played Midnight. . . . sooooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

So this is a film branded a joke by people who never should have been conned into seeing it, in the first place. However, if you drop expectations of genre and poster, it is not the worst crime against film (and comic adaptation films at that) that has ever been commited. A 2 out of 5 is as good as it will ever get, from this bloke, but that is still more than most of this blogs readers will ever dare to give it..

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